Way back in 1996 I scanned and posted my high school yearbook entry to my web site. Not a terribly original idea, given that I didn’t really offer up much explanation around it (sort of like the scanned image of a label of longans that I had as a banner for a while around the same time). But recently, good ol’ Matt Wilson posted his and offered up a translation that led to some nice, embarassing stories.

Now I’m biting his idea and doing the same thing with mine… I figure with the text I wrote, there’s got to be some sort of interesting stories hiding in there somewhere.

My high school yearbook entry

Bowling 2:
In my sophomore year, I was on the bowling team. Why only my sophomore year? Remember this story?

Track (2 days yo’!):
I had played baseball and soccer for a number of years as a kid, but didn’t consider myself good enough for either in high school. Since I needed something athletic to do, I apparently thought I could hack track. “They” say that the first few days are the toughest, when they weed out those that can’t take it… well, it worked: they weeded me out. What a nightmare. The only thing in my life that I stuck with for such a short time was my job at AAA, but that’s another story for another time.

SADD 23:
Students Against Drunk Driving. I never drank and never knew anyone that had died in a drunk driving accident, but I still enjoyed my time with SADD, especially during the mock car crash. I believe I first joined because my short-term high school girlfriend did. I know I was bitter when her interview appeared on the local news after the mock car crash but mine didn’t.

Lit Mag 4:
Of the few clubs I belonged to in high school, I liked the Lit Mag the best, mainly because it was headed by one of my favorite teachers, Mr. Moran. He was a hell of a guy, one of those teachers you see on TV that you wish you had… the “cool, eccentric, creative English teacher.” I wasn’t really down with the other students on the Lit Mag, but still had a great time. Unfortunately, I have no clue where any copies of the Lit Mag from that year are.

Newspaper 1:
I was a typist during my freshman year. That’s it.

National Honor Society 34:
I wuz a smart wun.

(Mr. Active, for real, tho’!):
Yes, I actually talked like that. Being the school’s only rapper, I had to portray at least a little of the stereotype.

My mom threatened to kick me out if they weren’t represented in my yearbook entry. She was such a witch.

My sole significant other in high school. There are too many stories to tell here, but I’ll sum it up this way: we were much better as friends than anything more. She was my best friend for a good two years of high school.

Jim was a great guy. I met him through the bowling league I belonged to in middle school and through a mutual friend, Keith. Jim always had some pretty bad luck… when he went to college, he, his roommate, and his roommate’s friend were in a hotel room together. All of a sudden, his roommate’s friend goes berzerk and stabs his roommate in the stomach multiple times, right in front of Jim. The roommate lived, but I’d imagine Jim was pretty affected by all this. I had been out of touch with Jim almost entirely throughout college, up until late 2000 when I found out he hosted a pro wrestling radio show. We met up for the first time in years after his own pro wrestling debut.

Will was a friend since back in middle school. He was one of my goofier friends and we always got along really well (aside from one big argument we had in Algebra II… over what, I’m not sure). Our inside joke was that Jeff Feagles (then the punter for the Philadelphia Eagles) could probably do better against opponents on his own than with the rest of the team. Why that’s funny, who knows, but one time Will gave me a Jeff Feagles football card as a gift… it still cracks me up when I look at it. He and I talk periodically.

My man… my best man, actually. We shared an interest in horror films and had the same shirt, so naturally we got along. My favorite story to tell about Ryder is the time during lunch when he took chocolate pudding and rubbed it all over his face. He proceeded to yell, “I love poopie!” until everyone in the cafeteria turned and stared at him.

& Lunch crew:
We had some sick puppies at our lunch table senior year. One of the guys had a fondness for making fake used tampons out of napkins with red Slush Puppies and then tossing them on the lunchroom floor.

Rachel was a good friend in high school, though we didn’t hang out too frequently outside of school. She’s the one that made me cupcakes on my 18th birthday, something that really meant a lot during that “the whole world is against me” period. She’s now engaged and living on Long Island.

Charley always complained right along with me about being without a girlfriend. Difference is, I had a legitimate beef.

Another good friend I’ve unfortunately lost touch with. I called her the “50 Foot Woman.” She was really 5’9″.

Steph x2:
Two of my ex-girlfriend’s best friends. I still talk with one of them periodically, the other (who I did my fair share of flirting with) not at all.

Also known as Dave, the other half of the Lyrical Prophets. We fought like a married couple, but managed to come together to record dozens of songs during high school.

Motion PT:
I was a Physical Therpist Aide for a year-and-a-half during high school. It was a fun job and was where I initially met my ex-girlfriend. One time I microwaved a donut hole (you know, those little donut balls) for something like two minutes. The thing was burnt to a crisp and sent black smoke throughout the office.

all those who always stayed on the real:
“On the Reel” was the name of my mini-record label with Qwik-Cut and “on the real” was one of my favorite phrases, even though everyone I thought it described, it really didn’t.

“Junior Dinner Dance” — the Junior Prom. A generally miserable time as my date/significant other was feeling ill. I even got a limo and everything.

Senior Prom x2:
My girlfriend’s senior prom was the first — we broke up three days later. I actually had a halfway decent time, though, because I got along well with all of her friends. I embarassed the hell out of myself on the prom video, but I won’t go into that. My senior prom was a little better, and that’s recounted here.

Our senior class trip was to Disneyworld. I roomed with Will (above), Greg, and Dave. We had a good time and Greg ate soap. I remember trying to chase down this one really hot girl I saw in the park one night. No luck.

4 (5?) albums:
One of things that remained constant throughout high school was that I was always writing and recording. And we did get that fifth album out by that summer.

Explorations in Writing, a very cool half-year class that I took senior year with Natalie Gaffin, who was also my freshman homeroom teacher. I remember getting comments back from Gaf about a poem I wrote and rather than making corrections, returning them to her telling her why I disagreed. She was glad I did that and ended up talking about it at parents’ night.

Another great class, this time with Mr. Moran. I actually wrote a paper that quoted Paris (the militant black power rapper) and love poetry by Theodore Roethke. I did well on it.

In my sophomore year, I skipped Computer Programming 1 and went right to Computer Programming 2, the school’s highest computer class. Just to show you how sad my school’s computer cirriculum was, we learned on Apple IIe’s. I enjoyed the class, though, because everyone else was a senior… it was very awkward at first, but I eventually fit in.

Am. Minorities:
American Minorities was another one of the great half-year classes that I took. This was taught by a friend’s dad and was so much more interesting than a typical history class. It helped cultivate my interest in the civil rights movement of the 60’s. We took a field trip to Ellis Island, but only walked around the island (we didn’t take any tours or anything), which was OK with most of us.

shores ’93:
I made a number of memorable trips to the Jersey shore that year, including this one.

Though it sounds like I did a lot of gigs, I really only had two. One was a party that Qwik and I did together freshman year. The cops ended up coming because the party got rowdy (drunk kids everywhere, people stealing our cassettes, etc.)… oddly, the kid’s parents were right upstairs. I think I made $25. The other time was at another friend’s party where I “borrowed” some speaker equipment from our high school without asking. I returned it safely, but man was I nervous that I’d get caught. I rocked the spot that night and actually made a recording.

Times w/D—:

A very influential movie for Ryder and me in high school.

lunch 234:
Apparently my freshman year lunch table sucked. … Yeah, it did, now that I think about it. No poopie pudding or Slush Puppie tampons that year, I guess.

ups and downs of live & love:
I’m pretty sure this was a typo on the yearbook’s part. Yup, lots of ups and downs… gotta love teen angst.

FUTURE PLANS: “College-Marry for love, not money,- Most of all: stay true to myself and those close to me.”:
Hey, it’s better than “Candlelight shone, shadows distorted, thoughts still cluttered, again how I try…”