Dear God:

Hi! It’s Ryan. Remember me?

So, how are things? Things here are good. It’s really warm here today. In fact, it was warm yesterday and the day before.

That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.

Listen. It’s November. Tomorrow, it’s December. I realize I’m not in the far northern part of the country and I also realize that it’s still “officially” autumn, but it would be really nice to have some winter weather around here. Fall weather stinks if there are no pretty colored leaves on the trees. Hit us with some winter weather. Some of that old cold-that-will-burn-your-skin winter weather. Some heavy-snow-that-forces-us-to-work-from-home weather. Some “damn-it-where’s-my-heavy-coat?” weather. I wore shorts around the house the other day — something’s wrong with that.

I even have new tires on my car, God. I’m ready for a rough winter. Give it to me.

Thanks,
Ryan

P.S. If you need to get in touch with me, e-mail’s the best way. My address is [email protected]