Driving home tonight I saw a Prius with a license plate that read “M1DW1FE.”

“Nice,” I thought. “A proud midwife. Midwives rock.”

Then I noticed a sticker on her window, designed like those damned Outer Banks “OBX” stickers. This one, though, said, “VBAC.”

“Huh,” thought I. “VBAC, eh? Kind of an odd thing to advertise on your car. But hey, midwives rock!”

I passed the car. A few minutes later, it passed me and I saw another sticker I’d missed the first time. This one, a pink one, read, “I SUPPORT PERINEUMS.”

At this point, I couldn’t help but think of some poor soul driving behind this car and seeing that bumper sticker for the first time. I suspect they went home wondering, “Perinuems? What are they and why was that car so in support of them… let me grab my dictionary… OK… Perennials… Prenatal… ah, here we go, Perineums. The area between a woman’s WHAT and HER WHAT?!!”

Yes. An odd bumper sticker, that is.